I will probably get a ton of hate emails after writing this post, but honestly, I just cannot sit back any longer and not say something. I watch daily through Facebook, Instagram, and in real life, wives who get so upset because they feel like their husbands are not respecting them. I want to scream at the top of my lungs the problem, but I know that I will not be heard, because really — ladies — we don’t like to hear when we are the problem.
Yes — you heard that right. The reason your husband might not be respecting you is because of your behavior towards him. Here is how to gain the respect of your husband.
Now hear me out before you shut me down.
Many years ago, I read a book that completely changed the way I thought and treated my husband. I was constantly nagging on him, talking about him to other women, humiliating him in public when he was not around. Why in the world did I think he would actually respect me when I did nothing but disrespect him?
In the book that I read, it stated that wives should never say anything derogatory about their husbands to anyone. It basically said to ask yourself before you ever speak anything — is it helpful or hurtful? If it is helpful, then by all means share it. If it will hurt him in some way — don’t do it.
Even the Bible says that. We are to speak kindly and fondly about our husbands. Even when we don’t agree with how they are behaving or how they are acting.
As wives, part of our ministry to God is treating our husbands with the utmost respect — even when we feel like they don’t deserve it.
Proverbs has this little tiny verse that has spoken volumes to me over the years. One day while reading it, God basically struck me to my core. The verse states:
Proverbs 31:23 — Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.
It was basically like God telling me — how do other men know your husband? Do they know him from the words you have spoken to their wives and know him as the person you make him out to be? Or do they know him because you speak highly of him around others?
God broke my heart that day because I had been speaking unkindly about my husband, laughing at him behind his back and making fun of him. At that moment, I promised God that I would do everything in my power to love him and respect him and to never speak unkindly again.
Why would you want to break the heart of your man and lose his respect just for a few laughs with the girls or your online friends?
You will lose his respect very fast if you do it and he finds out. Once you lose it and you continue down this path, it will be hard to gain it back. Why would you want to do that to him?
Stop speaking unkindly about your man
I will be the first to tell you that there are a lot of things that me and my husband don’t like about each other, but we do not go around telling others that information. We find ways to deal with those issues, and to be honest, there are SO many more things I LOVE about him than what I don’t like.
So how can you get past that and start gaining his respect again?
- Stop talking negatively to your girlfriends
- Stop posting photos of him that he does not like
- stop humiliating him with videos of things you don’t like about him
- remind yourself daily about all the things you LOVE about him
- Pray and ask God to remove your loose tongue and to help you watch what you say.